Do Not Ask a Southern Woman, “do you/don’t you remember me?”

Definitions for content purposes:

Urban Dictionary definition for “Dip-Shit” – “A despised person, a moron, an ineffectual person; one with a habit of being wrong, loudly and often.”

Merriam-Webster definition for “Dip-Shit” – “Usually vulgar: a stupid or incompetent person.”

If you have to ask this question, then the answer is likely “no”. When you ask this question, you are literally putting that person on the spot and causing unnecessary anxiety while we try to pull up your name out of our brain. If you ask a Southern woman this question, do not be surprised at the answer. It may involve some colorful words.

So, let’s break this situation down to all of its parts.

Let’s start with why are asking you this question in the first place?

What makes you so special that I should remember you? Have you made any significant contributions to my life or my families lives that would warrant me remembering you or your name? Are you famous and need attention? Did you win the lottery or have solved world peace issues? More than likely, no.

Secondly, ask the person that is asking this insipid question to take a moment to think about how that question may sound to the person being asked. My question to the “asker”, did it ever occur to you how egotistical the question sounds? To me, this question implies that you are such an incredible and/or amazing person that it is my responsibility to recall you and/or your name. Take a moment to reflect on this thought.

I realize some people just ask this question without thinking about it or they may be nervous. Unfortunately, neither of these reasons excuse asking this annoying question.

My dad always told me, “when you speak, your mind is on parade.” Translation, every time you open your mouth to speak, people are assessing your intelligence. At least, that is how it was explained to me. I tried to research the meaning, but I could not locate a credible source. So, we will just stick with my dad.

Thirdly, if you think about it, the question is rather confrontational in nature. To me this question says, “hey, look at me look at me, I am calling you out and putting you on the spot.” It matters not how you deliver the question even if it is done sweetly, bless your heart.

This question also is the one exception to the Southern manners rule. If you ask this question to a Southern woman there are a litany of responses that can follow the word “no.” Anticipate many of the responses to be rude and downright sarcastic in nature, because if you ask this question you are dismissed as a dip shit. I would highly recommend you remove this question from your social repertoire entirely.

So you may need a replacement conversation starter that does not tick people off, right? I do realize most people are not trying to be the way I have described by asking this question, but it does not change the fact that you asked.

Let me give you a better suggestion to assist with this common conversation starter error.

When you approach someone who you are not sure remembers you, help them out! Approach the person and say something like, “hey, I am Laura and we met at (wherever), I was with (whomever) at (what event)” This gives the person a few seconds to find you in their brain and allow them to be gracious when not remembering you or your name.

Telling them whom you were with and where you met allows the person to pull from broader memory. If the receiver still can’t recall you, it may at least give the receiver a chance to call you by your name now without making them uncomfortable or embarrassed. If you see the persons face contort in confusion, try to give more details.

This allows you both to be more relaxed and able to better communicate. It also helps decrease the tension at an intimate gathering.

I have been on the receiving end of this question numerous times. Many of those times I did not act with Southern manners.

One time, some flouncy, drippy sweet lady came running up to me at a party and said (you guessed it), “do you remember me?” I could not stop myself as she was obviously a dip shit. I looked her straight in the eye with no expression on my face, then plainly said, “no.” She looked puzzled at first, then went onto babble about meeting me and blah, blah, blah. I wanted to ask her why she did not start out telling me how we met and save me the trouble? It feels like a pop quiz that I had failed to study for beforehand. It was a very uncomfortable interaction.

At another time, when asked the question, I was better prepared. I asked the person to help me out and refresh my memory. This seemed to surprise them. However, the person was able to describe our meeting and give me time to recall the time I had first met them. I still did not remember meeting them, but at least I had the chance to “save face.” I was able to respond to them using their name and tried to glean more information in attempts to remember this person. Sometime, all these techniques fail, and you just can’t cotton pickin’ remember!

I highly recommend that you find other questions to start a conversation. Remember how uncomfortable you are when people ask you this question! Southern women are generally gracious but asking this one confirms you are a dip shit.

Once you have confirmed that you are indeed a dip shit by asking this question, all bets are off for the answer!

If you persist in using this question, then you are beyond all hope. Your mind will be on parade and people should avoid you, because you are a dip shit.

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