Heck if I know! I do know
that at any given moment, I have at least four ideas going in my head at the
same time! Most of my ideas are not even related either. If you need a mental
picture, it looks like a circus juggler who keeps throwing more and more red
balls in the air like a clown.
Don’t believe me? Ask any woman over the age of 21 to tell you all that she is thinking about at that moment. Then, sit back for the next 10 to 20 minutes for the answer!
On any given day you could ask me what I am thinking, and it would go something like this. “Did I put that load of clothes in the dryer? What does my kid need to take to school today? What else do I need to get at the grocery store? Did I finish my last article? Should I read it AGAIN before I post it? Where did my daughter leave her backpack? Did I get all the receipts together for our taxes? Where did I put all the receipts for our taxes? And so on… It is like a running Vaudeville show!
I used to think that I had a lot to do before I had a kid. After she came along, my list grew exponentially! I will not bore you with that list.
How do we get it all done? Well, I used to try to multi-task. If it was just two simple tasks, I could manage. Add a third and poof, it all went up in smoke. Then, I would have to start all over.
I read a research article that stated if you tried to multi-task more than two tasks at a time that most of the time none of the tasks would be completed correctly or not completed at all. The research stated you would then have to go back and start each task one at a time. This defeats the purpose of multi-tasking. The research concluded that multi-tasking actually costs you more time!
So why do women have so much on their minds all the time? Because people expect us to “do it all”! Like the old cologne commercial. “I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never let you forget you’re a man, because I’m a woman.” By the way, that cologne smelled like old socks that had been soaked in stale vinegar.
If you ask me, and you must have as you are reading this, we have too much to do on any given day!
As a kid in the South, I had few responsibilities or cares. As I grew up, life just seemed to get more complicated and I had more expected from me by others.
However, in today’s world, it seems that we move faster, without time for reflection or relaxation. Don’t believe me? Answer this question. How many Fridays were you working and glad it was Friday so you could have the weekend to catch up on WORK? Ha! Gotcha.
When I was younger and working, Friday at noon, I would start thinking about all the fun things I was going to do over the weekend. I never had to work on the weekends. I was mentally picking out what to wear to go out dancing and bar hopping. I also gave deep thought as to where to have brunch on Sunday. This was a must.
After I got married and had a kid, this pretty much stopped. Both my husband and I had full time, corporate jobs. Friday afternoons after 4:00, I was mentally packing my computer bag with all the files that needed work done over the weekend. What a game changer!
Instead of planning a fun filled weekend, I was being grateful for two days that my business phone did not ring, so I could get paperwork done! Oh, boy! Fun.
In order for me to not go completely insane, I tried to divvy up my load by making separate lists on my phone. This helped me to stop thinking too hard about all that I needed to do at all times. Unfortunately, this created a lot of lists on my phone.
If I can speak for the women I know, I can tell you a few things we all have in common that we think about, probably daily.
Thoughts and questions include, but not limited to: How am I going to get all this stuff done by Sunday night? How many kid birthday parties can I actually stand to go to over the weekend? Is there anyone else in my household that knows where the grocery store is located and know what healthy food is? Does anyone else, besides myself, know that each of us has a shoe rack that is located in your closet, it is not the living room floor? I can count on one finger the number of people in my house who know where the laundry hamper resides, and it is not the den. How many times is my kid going to ask me to go to the swimming pool in the next 48 hours? Who ate the last cookie and left the empty box OPEN in the cabinet? Why is my husband asking me where HIS wallet is and blaming the cleaning lady because he can’t find it? How long will my husband leave his clothes in the washer until I have to change it over to the dryer, so I can do the “house” laundry? Why are coasters for beverages “optional” on the wood table? Sunday night, 8:00pm, my daughter informs me she needs to have a project done for school on Monday morning.
As I lament over my situation and bask in my own self-pity, something else happens.
I am helping my daughter clean out her backpack for school, over the weekend. Inside, she has written a short story about “her mom.” She hands over the ragged, notebook paper that she has written her story on, in pencil with various spelling errors, but I can decipher it. She mentions how hard I work, that she loves me and that I make her feel special. Awe, man. I feel my frustration slip away. I feel a smile cross my face and a tear slip down my cheek at my little cherub.
I later find a greeting card and it is not a holiday. It is from my husband. It simply states a “thank you” for all that I do and that he loves me. Again, I feel myself calm and think about what is important.
Maybe it is because, as women, we think toooooooo much. Some days I get so aggravated that I plot to quietly climb into my car at 3:00 am, push my car down the driveway and escape to a paradise island that actually likes Americans. If you can find one.
The next time you think you have “had it” with your family, think about this. What would it be like to not have them? I do not mean for a weekend, but for a year. I find that in those times of strife that maybe it is ME that is placing all of these expectations on myself. I think that I should be frustrated with ME and not them. When I get “over myself”, I realize that I would not trade any of it.
To answer my own question about what women are thinking, lost of stuff that is not important. What I strive to think about is the faces of the family that I live with that love me no matter what. I realize that the people in my life are way more important than getting that last load of laundry done.