25 Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Men

Don’t get all bent guys. This is meant to be funny. And somewhat factual. This one has some history behind it!

When I was in college in Southern Georgia, there was a list going around school about how beer was better than women. Some of the comments were lewd, crude and socially unacceptable. Therefore, I loved it.

After weeks of guys quoting off the list, us gals decided to make our own list. From memory, I am sharing what I can remember that was on our list, with the exception of the really raunchy ones. Remember, this was college.


Beer doesn’t take you to a party and leave with some other tramp beer.

Beer doesn’t get a paper cut on its finger, then whine to you to make them a sandwich.

Beer doesn’t snore and swear it doesn’t snore.

Beer doesn’t care what you look like in the morning with no makeup on and a “bedhead”.

Beer doesn’t date or sleep with your sister, your roommate or your friends.

Beer does not call you at 3:00 am, drunk as a skunk, to tell you they love you and ask what you are doing. Then, possibly asking to come over to your place.

Beer does not fart in the car, then lock all the windows in the up position.

Beer always remembers your birthday and helps you celebrate.

Beer won’t dump you for another beer.

Beer doesn’t mind holding your hand in public.

Beer doesn’t lie, cheat, steal or wear your clothes.

Beer will accompany you on any vacation that you want to go on or any party you want to attend.

Beer doesn’t get jealous when you go out with another beer.

Beer understands when “you need space to find yourself”.

Beer does not have a Madonna complex or an attached umbilical cord.

Beer is always willing to listen to your problems without trying to “fix” it

Beer loves ALL of your friends.

Beer doesn’t have emotional baggage or a fear of commitment.

Beer never says, “suck it up”, “whatever” or “don’t worry about it”.

Beer never calls YOUR friends when you are in an argument to plead it’s case.

Beer does not ask you about your previous relationships with other beers.

Beer doesn’t tell you it is going to “stay in” and study, then you find the beer at a party.

Beer never says, “it’s me, not you”.

Beer doesn’t require you to endure other obnoxious, childlike, fart joke telling, irresponsible, poor hygiene and broke other beers.

Beer never says, “ I swear, I never slept with her. Really”.


I am sure there are more than this on some of your lists.

There are times when men are better than beer. However, beer will never leave you stranded at a party!

Bottoms up!

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