Why Do People Pay Money to Have Other People Scare the Life Out of Them?

I have never understood this concept. I am jumpy and anxious enough of a person without having someone else startle or scare me on purpose! All you have to do is sneak up behind me and say, “boo” and I will probably start crying! I have the worst startle response ever.

Take scary movies. You pay a premium to see them in a movie theater and spend your paycheck on popcorn and snacks. Then you sit in those cozy stadium seating chairs to watch a story on a big screen. Great, right up until a huge ole’ bloody claw slices down the screen!

For the next 90 minutes or so, you wiggle in your seat or throw your hands up to cover your face! You may hear the blood curdling screams from teenager girls in the audience who are begging to be noticed. Why would I pay for this? I will scare you for free.

This also includes roller coasters. I have been on one roller coaster in my entire life. I was completely pissed off for the rest of the day after the ride.

Explain to me the concept of fun by getting on a machine that has no concern for your level of fear. It rockets you to the sky, or in my case, in the dark to the sky. Then it slams your hip bones into the seemingly feeble safety bar that barely keeps you from being a human projectile. You continue to fly around sharp corners and possibly go upside down. This can induce vomiting from me. You return to the start point with everyone looking like they have seen a ghost. Many are red faced and some look like they are going to pass out. So, this constitutes fun? In what area of your brain does this register as fun?

I have been to dozens of theme parks that have roller coasters. I am the “coat check” girl while others endanger their vestibular system by getting on a coaster.

My daughter and husband love coasters, so I endure the endless waiting in line for them to ride. I usually occupy myself with shopping or midway games!

I love the old midway games such as Whack a Mole, Rubber Duckie Fishing, Water Pistols and Ring Toss. Remember those games? I know that most of them are rigged to make you lose, but every once in a while, I win. I am really good at Claw Machines too.

I love the smile on my daughter’s face when she runs to me after a coaster ride to see which piece of crap stuffed animal I may have won while she rides. I have probably spent $10.00 to win a $.25 stuffed animal, but whatever.

What about these people that have no value of their human life that run with bulls? Have you ever watched these people get in the middle of a bull stampede to see if they get impaled or trampled by a bull or the crowd? Did your mama drop you on your head when you were a baby? Who came up with this idea and thought it was a good one? Is it population control to rid us of the “weak” of our species?

Why would you put yourself in the direct path of a running bull? Growing up in the South, we were trained to check pastures for bulls before climbing the fence to go and play. We did not seek out bulls in order to get them to charge and us! You do realize that you cannot outrun a bull, right? And people say Southerners are ignorant.

I know that all of these activities can bring a huge adrenaline rush. I get that part. However, my common sense tells me that there are several other options to get a rush that will not cost me my life or a catastrophic injury! Duh!

There are plenty of other adrenaline pumping activities that fall into this category such as sky diving, cliff diving and bungee jumping. Same rules apply for all of these.

I guess I am just a big ole scaredy cat, but at least I am alive!

For those of you that are dare devils or adrenaline junkies, I say “rock on”! If you need me, I will be at the Dart Balloon game trying to win my kid another stuffed animal!

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